I'm kind of a big deal,
at least that's what I tell myself.
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.
Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
Saturday, April 27, 2013, 8:48 PM
MY KPOP BLOGGED HAS MOVED TO MYFATPOCKET.COM! CLICK HERE!
Excerpts from Trish 2009
Thursday, April 18, 2013, 9:23 AM
Hello, moonlight
I noticed that at night, there are more serious blog posts. more people twittering. more people online. more people on youtube. more texts on your phone.
The whole day, you don’t really have to think much, right? You’re so caught up with work, with stress, with the heat, with your annoying colleague and your naggy mother’s whines at the back of your head.
You get back at home, ready to leave all the day’s worry and go to your room alone. I suppose all the reflections happens there. When there’s finally nothing to think about, everything that you need to think about, or things you don’t really want to occupy your mind, just enters your mind without your will.
You begin questioning, reflecting even. Wondering how your day went, the people that have conversed with you, was it a fulfilling day? Was I happy? Did I make anyone’s day? Did anyone even think of me? Was my family waiting for me to get home?
Is there a particular person, who can’t wait to talk to us. Who can’t wait to share the burdens of the day, who can’t wait to show how much they care by looking forward to the ending of the day, because despite everything, the night was for the two of them only. The night was theirs to have. The night is the only thing that no one can take away from them.
The moon is shining brightly outside. If you happen to read this within minutes of being published..have a good look outside and enjoy the scene. Bella Luna.
I get the most emotional during the night. I suppose because it’s so quiet you can hear your mind talk. Things you’re scared to say out, they become so loud for you to ignore. The beatings of your heart, the lies and encouragement you have been covering it suddenly fades away for that time of the day. It’s the only time your heart can feel all the feelings in the world, because no one is there to judge you or to tell you otherwise.
I don’t really know what I’m writing about. It could be about love, it could be about friendship. It could be about anything. I just love to hate the night. I am always scared for the day to end, because I don’t really know what tomorrow holds. Will it be the same? Will things get better? Do I have to cushion up my heart again for the day, to save it from breaking apart?
I love the night because it’s so peaceful it seems like there’s nothing wrong in the world. I was never the type that wanted to be out and around loud music and confusing lights. I love the comfort of my home at night, being indoors and being safe. Being alone? Not that part. I suppose sometimes you need to feel alone to treasure the times when you have company.
I suppose you need to be alone sometimes so that you’ll have the chance to look at yourself and figure out your worth.
I can’t do this by myself, I really can’t. But who else will do it for me? No one. That’s why I’m still here.
“Do you know what Love and Alcohol have in common? You get drunk. You lose control. And sometimes…you become brave.”
Trish
Breakups
Tuesday, April 16, 2013, 9:46 AM
Breakups always have this notion that someone did something stupid and so they separate ways. But you know, sometimes that's not always the case.There's usually the "blame game". He wasn't sweet enough, she was too clingy, he has no time for me, she can't cook, etc etc etc. People outside the relationship (like friends, family and other nosy brethrens) would usually cook up their own theories of why the break up even happened.
Things like, I knew it. He can't treat you right. She's not good enough for you. She this he that never ending pointing of fingers.
But you know what, believe it or not, sometimes break up happens not because of their imperfections. The two of them may be perfect, but a break up would still happen. Why? Because you're not "perfect" for each other.
Relationship don't work because the two of you don't work together. It's not an isolated reason or someone's fault. I know I'm not talking about every single relationship. But sometimes, sometimes it's not someone's fault. Two perfectly perfect people can be together but it still might not work out.
Just remember that. Never play the blame game. Pointing fingers gets you to the low list. Ain't worth it sista
Consuming
Wednesday, April 10, 2013, 10:27 AM
I don't know why I'm feeling so down and just angry this morning. Everything annoys me. I can't even pinpoint it to any particular reason. I'm just down. I'm just sad. I'm just angry. I do not have anything to blame. I slept fine. I can't remember my dreams. I'm done with my period so I doubt I'm PMSing.
I genuinely do not even want to go tumblr and gush over bands or laugh at stupid things in 9gag. It's just pure negativity that's driving me down and I just want to black out everything. I don't even wanna talk to anyone. I just want to isolate myself and just...I don't know.
I feel like crying for some reason. Gosh I don't even bloody know. Where are these feelings even coming from?
I know this is kpop related but...
Tuesday, April 09, 2013, 10:37 AM
If any of my readers are fans or knows friends that are fans please let them know I'm selling and to contact me at my email patricia_cahigas@hotmail.com OKAY! (:
Concert is on 20th April 2013!
BE GRATEFUL
Saturday, April 06, 2013, 9:52 AM
Often times I think we don't appreciate the things that we have.You barely see poverty in Singapore and most people here are quite fortunate to be living in such beautiful place where the government helps most people. I think a lot of people often complain about how much everything is so expensive but often forgetting that at least they have a place to stay, a car to drive, money to spend on food and clothes to wear everyday.
I've lived in the Philippines for 13 years and 13 years in Singapore as well and I know the vast the difference of the lifestyle of both countries. I wasn't poor or anything back in my hometown, I think my family was quite well off but I was surrounded or rather, I was aware of how some poor people could be.
I think what I'm trying to put out there is that you should be grateful for whatever you have right now. I am not saying to not dream of having things that you like in the future, but don't set your heart in material things that don't last forever. It's okay to be ambitious, but to be greedy isn't.
Appreciate people, hang on to your relationship with friends and your family. When you die, your clothes, shoes, car, phones or branded things won't be there to bury you off. It's the people who cared for you if you bother to be in their lives.
Well it looks like I forgot to blog last night again
Friday, April 05, 2013, 5:29 PM
HELLO EARTHLINGSSo we found this amazing new mall at Rochester road and found this shop AND I LOVE THAT SHOP BECAUSE CHEAP SHOES and I'm not saying cheap looking shoes but actually awesome shoes and yeah.
So I bought another pair of shoes aka boots that I'm totally in love with and I think I want to get another pair.
But I don't have the money so I'm going to eat air instead.
My youngest sister is at her Orientation camp at school and I am actually worried like, will she have friends or be an awkward potato or I don't know find awkward potatoes and be friends together. I'm not too worried actually, she's pretty sociable and pretty and the guys probably wants the v okay bye.
Okay I just have a lot of mixed up feelings today and I really just wanna eat dinner and probably dessert, have some rest and sleep. I thought I was off tomorrow but voila I am working so here's to working 6 days a week for about a month now.
OOPS OOPS OOPS OOPS OOPS
Thursday, April 04, 2013, 4:57 PM
So I sort of forgot to blog last night I am going to blame the drowsy pills for that one.I have insecurity problems. Like it is the main thing that I really want to change about myself. I am not the most confident in some issues about my body or my skill or my ability to do things. Quite frankly I'm not a smart kid or a talented person. I like to sing, I used to dance/choreograph a lot, I love acting, I love being on stage wait I'm sidetracking.
So anyways, words literally affect me a lot. Whether it's a compliment or a criticism.
I got back to work today after 2 days of MC and I was quite surprised with the number of compliments AND criticism (which are probably harmless in the first place, I just take things too far when I have a lot of feelings aka PMSing)
Here are the compliments
1. "You look like a doll. You are so pretty!"
2. "Your complexion is amazing. You're like a diamond."
3. "I think you have the best hair here at our work place"
And of course the criticism
1. "Did you sleep? You look like a panda"
2. "You have unique shoes...but it doesn't fit your dress"
So there you go. I don't know man. I mean, I guess there are two kinds people? The person who criticized me about my panda eyes NEVER FAILS TO TELL ME THIS. I am not even kidding. Like, I'm happy for you that you don't have dark circles issues but I do and mine was sort of genetic. I try to cover them with concealer, but no. Even that I get criticize for. "You're wearing too much make up!" Well it's to cover my dang dark circles man.
You know what the funny thing is? Most of these comments comes from guys. I seriously hope your girlfriend or wife is bloody flawless because I don't know what the hell your problems are.
Most of them would comment about my outfit as well. Uhh did I pay you guys to be my stylist? Look at yourselves please. Like get an actual full length mirror and take a good look at yourself. Even my hair color man. "You look better with black hair." Sorry but I did not dye my hair red to please you. Go drown yourself in a pool of lava.
I know I might just be ranting now but whatever. I just can't take it when guys relentlessly criticize every single thing they can find about a girl. I'm not saying anything about your bad breath, or your beer belly, or your awful hair cut, and is that rag you're wearing? I know I look good and no I don't appreciate your commentaries of my own fashion show.
Constructive comments, those I don't mind, and these are usually given by my closest friends. One time I came to work and I realize I looked extra....fake. This close friend said, "how much make up did you actually put today?" LOL. I got a lot of comments that day but his honest remark made it all hilarious. At least I have one straight up friend with me.
I remember having this one friend in Poly days. Every time I would come to class he would always comment on my make up. No he isn't gay he actually has a girlfriend. But I remember him saying things like, "Your blush on your right cheek is thicker" or "your eyebrow's not balanced" or "wow you're actually not wearing make up please put some on". Really treasured that friend because no girl friends was gutsy enough to comment on such things.
ANYHOOOOOOOOOOO
So last night I came home earlier than usual because IRIS2 was at 9pm and when I got home my dad just sort of woke up (he works graveyard shift EVERY DAY) and I just saw how tired he looks :( I ate dinner with him and watched the drama as well. I really hope he doesn't need to work all night all the time. Ahh but what to do. No one was willing to hire him (due to age) and this was basically the only few ones who accepted him.
HUGE SIGH
Okay that's enough ranting fo now. I'll blog again tonight.
here's my face yesterday
Okay that picture actually hurts such a stupified awkward smile why am I posting that OKAY BYE
SALES AND JOLLIBEE
Tuesday, April 02, 2013, 10:40 PM
Almost cried today. You know why?
Went to Jollibee at Lucky plaza and had my first meal there ever!!! ( technically second, my brother brought home some like a week ago)
JOLLIBEE is my SUPER ULTIMATE FAVE FAST FOOD since I was probably a uterus and I am beyond ECSTATIC when the first opened in Singapore. We only waited like 15-20 mins (got there about 11.15-30 thereabouts) and the queue wasn't that long. SO HAPPY OKAY I ate 2 piece chicken joy with rice plus spaghetti. Okay yeah I eat like a man so what.
Also, I bought two pairs of shoes today from Vans and they are both so pretty and they only cost me....
$28. twentyfreakingeight dollars for a pair of vans shoes like WHUTTTTTTT
Had a lot of girly time with my mom and my sister Bea and we practically combed through town to find my ultimate bag. But it costs like 100 bucks and I'm just too poor for that. So...maybe next time.
If you're a UKISS fan I have a surprise for you! Go to my kpop blog to find out!!
I'm feeling a bit feverish right now so I'm gonna sleep!
PS. My sis bought me UKISS collage album and Yutaki followed me in Instagram today. WJNWSOAKSNDJD
Goodnight and the sweetest dreams
Never too late to start!
Monday, April 01, 2013, 10:14 PM
I've decided to blog daily, whether in my personal blog or my kpop blog. I realized there's always a lot of things that happens to me and by the time the day ends and I lay my head on my pillow, they're all forgotten.
I used to be so detailed about my days' happenings and I really miss that about myself.
April 1st
I woke up this morning with the chest pain that came from the day before and I realized I wouldn't be able to go through the day with such pain. I went to the doctor again (2 weeks prior the doctor told me to come back if the pain persists and it did)
My sister Bea accompanied me and she bought this vitamin c pastilles and we just found ourselves eating it like candies. I turn the packet around and read out "2-3 pastilles A DAY" and we already finished 1 1/2 packets! Safe to say we were overdosed? LOL
Anyways I really liked the doctor that consulted me today. He was really nice about the whole ordeal and he knew I've been coming in for the same reason so he explained my condition (I think it's called acid reflux) and elaborated on my medicines and what they do. He even asked me if I needed to rest so I said yes and he gave me two days MC!
Ate lunch with my sister and walked around the mall for a bit before we decided to head home. Thank goodness it rained in the afternoon! I had an amazing nap.
Had a good day with my family today. Had family home evening and ate dinner with my dad.
I'm still experiencing crazy chest pains and also...I am 48 kg today. Lol!
My weight goes up and down from 46-48.
I also...have stretch marks on my left thigh believe it or not.
OKAY ENOUGH ON MY WEIGHT.
I hope you guys had a good April's fool day.
GOODNIGHT EVERYONE. SWEETEST DREAMS.
Selfish
Saturday, March 30, 2013, 9:40 PM
And this is why I wish I still have my own room. I rarely asks for things and when I do I really need it. And when I do everyone is against me. So self righteous. Tears
Thursday, March 07, 2013, 5:26 PM
Does anyone else have this moment where you just feel like going to one corner of the house, preferably alone, preferably with a thick blanket to cover yourself in, preferably at night, because that's when you think the most.A moment where you just want to be sad, you just want to cry, where there's a lump in your throat and you just need to let it out.
I feel like there's this huge weight in my chest and I just can't get it out.
Abnormal
Friday, March 01, 2013, 6:37 PM
Is it wrong to crave sadness sometimes?
Shapes
Monday, February 25, 2013, 5:17 PM
I saw this post on tumblr and it got me thinking so much about it. So much that it woke up from my sleep at had me up from 5.30am till I had to get up for church.Here's the post. Credit to the person who made this. I just took it from tumblr. I am not claiming anything.
Let me just get to the point. I'm not sure if I agree to this idea.
Not the whole "we used to be one body then the hand of God came out of nowhere and separated us and now we have to look for each other thing."
No, it's more of the "we are meant to be with someone and only ONE" to be with for our whole lives. If we don't find that person then we are alone, because everyone else is taken.
I don't agree with this wholeheartedly, it is not as simple (or as difficult) as finding that one person we are meant to be with and these are my reasons.
I don't believe that we are destined or fated to be with one person in particular. I do not (in any way) doubt God's power of partnering us with a particular person but I do not think it is that simple in theory.
There are so many what ifs. What if the person that we're meant to be with is already with someone else? Do we break them up? What happens to me then? Do I end up alone? What about to the other person's meant to be? Will he be alone forever too?
What if I end up with someone and then he dies suddenly? Due to accident, sickness, war, etc? Do I not get another chance of finding love again?
What if I never get to meet the person I'm destined to be? The one who has the same shape as me like the pictures above? Do we both end up alone forever?
What if we find that person, end up together, and it turns out that it just does not work out? Do we just stay together for the sake of being the same shape?
So many what ifs.
I don't think it's fair to say that we are only meant to be with one person. At different times of our life, we have relationships, we meet people, and for that moment, we are the same "shape".
Relationships fail, even marriages fail, and not just once, but multiple times. People move on and find other partners, is it wrong then? To find love somewhere else once we lose it from that one person who used to share love with?
Billions of people around the world, how is it possible that we are only assigned to just one person? Do we ignore everyone else? Because they're not the one?
I know this is giving more questions than answers but for once, I think the questions here serves as answers as well.
We cannot be so narrow minded to think that we can only ever end up with one person. I am in no way saying that we should have multiple partners/marriages. It is not to encourage people to cheat or love more than one person. This is based on one partner only policy.
I am not saying that once a partner dies or a relationship/marriage fails, people should quickly look for replacement. Some people do not look for anymore as they truly believe on one love and one only. I salute those people, that kind of love is so strong it does not even need a replacement.
However, finding someone else after a loss does not mean that your love for the previous one is any lesser. It does not make you any braver either. I do not know what it makes of you but it shows that you're willing to try again and that you believe that you are still meant for someone out there. There is a certain "shape" that another person can fill and you're on the look out for that.
Sweet and touching as those pictures may be, I think it's missing a point. It dissolves the idea of trial and error with meeting people. Just because it does not look like you are the same "shape" with the other person, does not mean you should not give it a try. Just because you lost the love of your life, does not mean you are doomed to be alone. Just because it did not work out with your previous relationship, means that you should just give up.
Not everyone can have a fairy tale happy ending like the pictures above, you may not end up with the person you're meant to be, you may not be the same shape, but after you spend time together, helping each other become better people, finding flaws and realizing they're still perfect, going through the crazy ups and downs of life, finding more and more reasons on why you love them, and you'll realized both of you have become one shape.
Okay the last part was cheesy, but all I'm saying is that you may not end up with the right person at first, but it takes a lot of effort and sacrifices for a relationship to work. One fight does not end it, one kiss does not solve it. It's an ongoing process. It's not a thing to be determined by fate or destiny.
end.
Dreams?
Monday, February 11, 2013, 10:43 PM
At night I usually just think about what I really want to do with my life. Idk much about passion for anything. I just really wanted to do something I'm good at and just do that for the rest of my life but I just don't know what it is.
I don't envy people who discovers their passion early in their lives and are already doing the things they love, instead I admire them. For being such dreamers and actually reaching out for them.
Whatever passion I had (acting, hosting, singing, writing) sort of just burned out after being an adult and working a 9-5 job.
Is it too late to dream?
Late night
Tuesday, November 20, 2012, 12:03 AM
I can't sleep and I can't figure out what to do.To write? To read? To watch or to just mindlessly stare at the ceiling hoping sleep would rob me off my thoughts.
Aish.
There's gotta be more to life.
When do people become less annoying?
Monday, November 12, 2012, 3:19 PM
When you actually take the time to just look at them, and no, not judge their face but their actions. When you try to relate them to your life. He could have been your father, your grandma, your boyfriend, your little sister...and it gets easier.
When you look beyond what you see. They have a story. They have a reason why they're like that. Why a simple thin irks them.
Don't judge so quickly. Remind yourself that everyone is the same when we were born. But circumstance changes us. People will hurt us. Situation will alter the way we look at the world and sometimes, that's not our fault.
Put yourself in everyone's shoes. You'll realize that it becomes easier to be happy and be slow to anger.
Regrets?
Thursday, November 08, 2012, 1:17 PM
It is that time where I find conflicting issues within myself.
I realized I am a mess of feelings. I could fill up my entire being with so many emotions and with no control of how to use them properly. Often people laugh at me because I cry so easily. When I hear a sentence, a line in a song, a person on the street, a simple picture, and within a blink my eyes would be clouded with tears, showing no sign of stopping, all those feelings just coming out at once.
I really cannot help it, you know? A lot of things trigger emotions inside me. I used to try and control them aka holding them back, but I realized I feel heavier if I don't. So if I feel sad, I'll cry it out.
Somehow there is this kind of sadness where it just builds up in your chest, weighing so heavy but you can't cry. It sounds crazy but I do feel this sometimes. I don't know if it's emptiness, longing or just pure...sadness. It's that feeling of hopelessness because no matter how much you feel or how much you want to do something about the situation, you can't do anything. It's not up to you. It's not by your own hands.
I feel crying, I feel like just bursting into tears because that feeling is the worst emotion anyone can go through. You feel compassion but you can't think of a way to help. No...more like you know how exactly you can help but you don't have that resource to use to be able for your help to get through.
Am I making sense here?
I feel helpless. Feel so helpless. God help me.
Permanent
Sunday, October 28, 2012, 9:26 AM
I think a lot of people think of tattoos as a bad thing in general. Things like, oh you'll regret in the future when you're old and wrinkly.
You know what. I know old people who has tattoos(including my late grandfather) and I don't hear them complaining about their tattoos and wishing they didn't get them.
It's the same thing with everything else actually.
Instead of saying, your skin won't be the same when you're older, you can say these things;
You drink so much, your liver won't be the same
You smoke so much, your lungs won't be the same
You eat so much unhealthy food, your body won't be the same
You don't exercise, your stamina won't be the same
You neglect your family, they won't be around so much for long.
People only look at "visual" doings as the ones that will eventually affect our lives. Guess what, it's not the only one.
The next time you criticize someone with a tattoo or someone who wants to get a tattoo, look at your own life first before judging.
No I'm not planning to get a tattoo. This thought just came to me.
Anger
Saturday, October 20, 2012, 3:25 PM
You know that few seconds process of getting angry? When you know you can still stop yourself but you have this sinking feeling that you'll lose and within a few seconds you will get angry? It's the feeling of, should I get mad or should I let this pass? The sick,dropping feeling in your stomach that just eats you up. Because you know you still have the choice of not getting angry, but you know you will end up angry anyways.
Insanity day 2.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012, 11:03 PM
I'm dead. Insanity is not to be taken lightly. Dang it Shaun T! You crazy!! 
IN.SAN.IT.Y
4:16 PM
Well described work out, because INSANITY is INSANE.First day yesterday, after years, I mean, literally YEARS of not working out, I came home from work and got started on this program with my sister.
I was hype! Knowing it's going to be the beginning of it all. The fit test is pretty awesome, although have two awesomely fit people to watch (not counting Shaun T, because that man is a monster! ) is kind of condescending. Hahaha!!
I'm doing it with my sister and I have to say that we were both dying by the end of it. I was pumped on the first exercise! 118 switch kicks! So I thought, woo! I can totally do this.
Power Jacks were deadly, Power knees were okay, Power jumps were killers, same with Globe jumps, the last three....I don't even want to talk about it.
Suicide jumps were HELL. Push up jacks and Low Plank Oblique are thoroughly...thoroughly...deadly. How I manage to do any of those I don't know.
By the end of it, I was shaking, but I also felt alive. I'm going to continue with this program and I hope I don't falter off.
DIG DEEPER!
Re arranging.
Thursday, October 11, 2012, 11:57 PM
I feel very out of touch lately. Like someone else is living my life and I am watching from the sides. And I am not liking it one bit.
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
Glasses
11:11 AM
I might just start wearing glasses from now on. Less hassle than wearing lenses. Plus it hides dark circles, which I think I'm naturally born it OMG can you imagine me as a baby with dark circles? I'm gonna look for baby pictures. Anyways as I was saying, it hides dark circles really well. Happy Thursday!
New blog!
Tuesday, October 09, 2012, 6:54 PM
I have no right to present you my new blog yet, because it is disgustingly still empty and have no designs and basically no content just yet.But I can't wait any longer. I have a lot of kpop-feelings to express and I don't see the use of waiting to be suddenly awesome at web design because I doubt I will ever be an expert overnight.
I NEED A FRIEND WHO IS AWESOME ENOUGH TO DESIGN A BLOG FOR ME THANKS. TWITTER ME FACEBOOK ME INSTAGRAM ME TUMBLR MAYBE I WILL PAY YOU (WITH LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP AND LUNCH MAYBE WHO KNOWS)
Okies, my kpop blog name is called Choked on Bulgogi and I am not sure how often I will be updating that one. Sorry, I don't plan ahead(yet). I just posted one entry and it has gotten over 100 views already within a few hours. No sexy korean boys pics yet and already 100 views! Wow.
Please wish me luck in this and don't worry, I will still be blogging here (because I have "SO" many readers hur hur so punny.)
Choices.
Monday, October 08, 2012, 1:13 PM
Heard of the saying , there's always a choice?I don't think that counts when it comes to Korean boys.
Update
1:11 PM
1. Sports day on 26 Oct. All the other teams better bring it because I'm on the red team. 2. The most awesome boss has moved on from our company. I miss her already.
3. That's just me.
I think the pics may not be in order.
Okay that's all.
Present.
Saturday, October 06, 2012, 11:31 PM
I need to make use of my time more productively. So. Tired.
Goodnight world and have a good Sunday.
Truth
Wednesday, October 03, 2012, 9:33 AM
“The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.”UKISS
8:07 AM
Can I just please confess the fact that I am utterly smitten by UKISS. that is all.
Morning.
Tuesday, October 02, 2012, 6:37 AM
edit/I have this habit of doing the impossible.
Like taking back what I said. I hope none was able to read my previous post.
Have a good tuesday everyone.
Another blog
Friday, September 28, 2012, 8:09 PM
Planning to create another blog fully dedicated to something I'm very fond of.Watch out for it (:
Disappears
8:05 PM
You know the portal to reality and to your own world is very easy to access to.Put both earphones on your ears, play music.
The world that you know is gone and you are now free to do whatever the hell you want.
Sing like you know every word, dance like no one is watching and cry like nothing ever matters.
Enjoy.
Depression.
Thursday, September 27, 2012, 6:26 PM
They say people who are not depressed sees the world on how they want it to be. Depressed people sees the world exactly as how it is. Then I guess it's not so bad to be depressed because it means your intact with reality and not making up things in your head. It's not entirely bad to be depressed because it means that you're still living your life despite not really knowing why you should still be.
I guess the only bad thing about depression is that you end up feeling pessimistic about almost everything that you forget the fact that sometimes there are still stars amongst the darkness, that even though they are quite far too reach, they are still there to light up the way.
Late night tv shows.
Monday, September 24, 2012, 11:57 PM
When I should be sleeping or eating dinner. 
Love
11:46 AM
I honestly believe that there's this one person that you're meant to be with, or at least one person that will capture your heart no matter how many other attractive persons there are surrounding that person. Let's be serious here. There are so many good looking people. Too many. Celebrities, that school's hunk, the campus princess, that hot chick in the club, that adorable babe in the cafe, that heart throb in the school's team...the list is endless. Attraction is undeniably part of loving someone, and most of the times the outer appearance helps in that first step of attraction.
True love....that means despite seeing so many beautiful flowers in the garden, there's this one particular flower that just catches your eye. Despite seeing so many boxes of chocolate in the store, all beautifully packaged, there's this one that will always hold your attention. No matter how many adorable puppies there are in the pet shop, there's this one that will always call your name from the depths of your heart.
They can be handsome or pretty or downright sexy, but that's in no way a good factor to put in if you're looking for someone to be with. You'll realize in time to come, there's someone who's going to be prettier, hunkier, more muscular and so on. Do not depend your attraction on the outside appearance.
You'll always choose that box of chocolate because you know what's inside. You know that if you threw away that box, you'll still love what's inside.
You should fall for the heart not the face.
That way no matter how matter how many gorgeous people comes into your life, they can never replace the one you love because no one else have their heart.
Make ups will fade and accidents may happen, cheeky troublesome beautiful people will ALWAYS be around. Love someone's heart with your heart and you'll realize nothing can separate the two of you.
Just make sure that when you say I love you to someone, that you say it as my heart loves you and not my eyes love you.
Injury
Saturday, September 22, 2012, 4:17 PM
Is it weird that I am near to crying after seeing an old man in the train with his thumb and index finger all bandaged up. I hope he's not in so much pain :(
Alone
Friday, September 21, 2012, 11:51 PM
Being alone brings out two immensely strong outcome in terms of emotions;1. Fear
2. Emotional awakening.
You're afraid because you're not sure if you can be happy whilst being independent, at the same time you have so much time to reflect on things that you begin to realize and feel things you haven't before.
What a beautiful mess it is to be alone.
Snow white and the evil witch
Monday, September 17, 2012, 10:27 AM
I'm referring to myself. 
Love
Sunday, September 16, 2012, 9:12 PM
I just had a good cry. And a good cry I mean all of a sudden, while I was hanging out with my sibs on the dining table, and I remember what Joseph Smith said about his Emma Smith.
"I will search the depths of hell for Emma. "
By crying, I mean no sounds. My tears were free falling and was dropping all over my knees. I was like that for 5 mins and only my brother could understand.
😢
Hello
Thursday, September 13, 2012, 11:03 PM
I'm pretty sure I'll regret this but for now I'm not regretting it. So here's my naked face no contact lens no nothing what are those pimples populating my forehead nooooo.
Bye.
iPhone and humans
12:48 PM
Seriously sick of people whining about Iphone5 not delivering blah de blah deBlah using people's comments in the news articles as their OWN comments. Seriously.
If you're not happy about it then chuck your happy iPhones away and get that Samsung tablet that you've been comparing iPhone with.
You don't like it because of these reasons;
1. The screen is not as big as your Samsung Oppas phone.
2. Because apple sued your Oppas phone brand (and won)
3. Apparently apple died with Steve Jobs
4. Just the whole comparing thing.
ISH. You expected more you wanted this you wanted that why is everyone so bitter about iPhones and Apple all of a stupid sudden.
Why don't you guys create your own IPhone5 and bloody make sure people line up for it.
Sick of this ignorant ramblings.
Bullying.
Monday, September 10, 2012, 2:49 PM
What I'm about to say may classify me as a total party pooper. But if standing up for what is right is called a party pooper, then I'll be a proud party pooper. I'm sure most of us go to 9gag.com. I do too. However, every time I see a human meme (those animated memes are fine, to be honest), I often feel like...what if those people in those memes sees themselves?
Isn't that a form of cyber bullying? Taking up random pictures online and marking them with "funny" circumstances or situations over and over and over again. For fun. For the whole world to see and make fun of. Those are real people. I do not have any idea who they are where they live or if they're still even alive, I may be being a little bit overly sensitive but whatever.
The "good" human memes like the ridiculously photogenic guy and such may think differently. He got his 15 mins of fame and everything. But what about the others?
That high school photo of that red head dude, drunk dude, overly attached girlfriend, highschool teacher, grandma and so many others.
Of course, who am I to ask anyone to stop it right. Just sharing what I think.
Bye.
People
Thursday, September 06, 2012, 2:06 PM
I've been dreaming of specific people over and over again for this week. I don't know wanna know what the heck it means.
Also.
1. My packaged arrived!
2. My head smells like ammonia.
3. The new interns are. Idk.
4. I'm so sleepy.
5. I need a new drama to watch.
So here's a picture of a chick with hats. Because why not. Chicks with hats are cute and egg-citing.
Dreams
Tuesday, September 04, 2012, 11:53 AM
The reason why I rarely share my dreams with people is because I can never re-tell the story with enough descriptive words and enough accurate emotions to fully encompass the feelings and scenarios that I experience with my unconscious mind. Dreams that mean a lot to me come out as some shallow giddy 13 yr old teenage dream when it actually means a lot more than that.
A whole lot more.
Mask
Monday, September 03, 2012, 12:55 PM
It's like. I'm unconsciously shy all the time. I worry about what people will see about me. Is my dress scrunched up, my hair too flat, my make up too cakey, my lipstick too little, my voice too annoying. Ugh. Is there an HTML code for being confident or not being insecure.
Sleep
Saturday, September 01, 2012, 11:24 PM
Everytime I finish reading a story, I often find myself speaking in a way like how the characters in the story speaks. If they were quick witted and sarcastic, I'd be like that. If the English is formally used, I often myself using English formally.
I guess it's that state where you're dwelling in between reality and fiction. And it's the most incredible feeling.
To be stuck somewhere where you can choose to live in fiction but your feet are situated on earth.
I have no idea what I'm saying.
Gloomy Weather
Thursday, August 30, 2012, 4:43 PM
it's been pretty gloomy for this week.Raining everyday.
Cold mornings.
Even colder nights.
Desaru was pretty fun. Made me realized a couple of things.
1. I'm dead dependent on my YOUNGER sister. Yes. She literally forced me to pack and she basically took care of everything when we were there.
2. I can be shy at times. Yeh it's easy to start a conversation with somebody but there are times when I feel like my usual bubbly sociable self crumbles because I'm just downright insecure.
3. I like singing. During the dance, I wasn't really in the mood for dancing (well because of my ankle, which re-swelled due to the beach games har har so punny) and I just took the mic and started singing along with the music whilst everyone was dancing. I'm not saying I sound good, but no one asked me to stop singing. Hmm. Maybe they just didn't want to hurt my feelings? sad.
4. I love night talks. It's when everyone's vulnerable and open.
5. I'm so competitive. Thank Goodness my team won at least 2nd out of the 8 teams or I'll throw a tantrum.
So I'm still learning Boa's Only One choreography and I have the chorus 90% down. That's good enough for now. I'm listening to it about 95% of the time and practicing every morning and night, and okay in between office hours when my mind is free.
gosh I love BOA.
Okay bye!
"I think there is a general misconception that you write poems because you “have something to say.” I think, actually, that you write poems because you have something echoing around in the bone-dome of your skull that you cannot say. Poetry allows us to hold many related tangential notions in very close orbit around each other at the same time. The “unsayable” thing at the center of the poem becomes visible to the poet and reader in the same way that dark matter becomes visible to the astrophysicist. You can’t see it, but by measure of its effect on the visible, it can become so precise a silhouette you can almost know it."
Boa only one
Saturday, August 25, 2012, 11:16 PM
Seriously the choreography is no joke. I haven't been exercising or anything in the longest time and learning the first 20 seconds took me about 2 hours. Not even the first verse. 2/3 of the chorus at least. My body is screaming. It feels good to dance.
Ps my ankle is screaming.
Cooped up.
Friday, August 24, 2012, 5:28 PM
I like those people who notices any small changes that I do to my appearance. I'm vain.
So when someone points out "is your hair shorter?" when I only trimmed it ever so little. Or when I change the parting of my hair when no one else says anything about it.
It matters yanno?
Anws. My sis and her family is back in Doha. :(
It's Friday! Idk why I'm celebrating because I have work tomorrow anyways.
Oh. And Desaru was awesome. And my dad is 56! And and and. Yeah.
Goodbye now.
